How Does She Do It? She Doesn’t – Not Really

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Someone asked me this week: How do you do it all? Read books, watch shows, write? How do you get it all done.

I have to be honest. I read the question and laughed. My life is so not challenging in the grand scheme of things no matter the moment-to-moment panics I experience. I have a warm home, food in my fridge, a job with health insurance, and family and friends who support me when I’m down.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally sit in my living room, TV off, and mentally review my To-Do list with a sinking heart and feeling of dread.

So darling anonymous question asker on Tumblr, here’s the real answer to your question: I lie.

I don’t get it all done. And I’m really good at faking it. My IRL friends (Good God, I cannot believe I just used that abbreviation in seriousness) know this because they ask me about shows, and my answer is “Oh I don’t really watch TV.” Because it’s true. I only really watch two shows regularly and those are two I don’t really blog, write or tumble about. The rest I catch on HuluPlus, Netflix and network websites if I have time or during hiatuses. I also am known to marathon a good thing when I’m sick or when I get completely addicted to it.

Though, truth be told, I may add Sleepy Hollow to that repertoire of regularly watched shows if it continues being as awesome as it has been. I’m really, really liking it.

I spend a lot of time on the internet. It has taught me to lie well and frequently. I see a gif set I like and I share it and add commentary for what I have heard the show is about, why I like it, what it says to me, and I walk away. I am careless with my affection for pop culture. I use my tumblr promiscuity – I follow a LOT of blogs – to learn about shows I will never have time watch, books I only wish I had time read and music I would love to see live but know I never will.

Oh it feels good to be honest.

I know I’m not alone in this. There’s too much out there to consume now. Too many shows to watch. Too many books to read. The never-ending onslaught of entertainment distracts me from the other things I want to do: cooking, baking, traveling to visit my family, spending quality time with friends that doesn’t involve a cellphone, a computer or a camera. Eye contact. Real conversation.

I used to try to do it all – watch all the shows, read all the books, and provide thoughtful commentary on them. You know what? It was exhausting. I resented it. I hid in social media and let it teach me this new way – this easier way.

The last month or so has been a lot of networking and not a lot of anything else. I’ve only read three books since September. I usually average two a week. Three in a month is depressing.

I’m feeling the pull and tug away from the internet again though. I’m finding myself not wanting to hit power. Not wanting to open another tab. Not wanting to wrack my brain for another password combination I will not forget the second I hit “change” on the account. Books smell better. My bed is layered with blankets that I can twirl into a nest at the slightest whim, and I’d rather curl up there with a paperback than with my laptop.

So look out readers of my blogs, tweets and status updates. There will be more bookish things in the future, more real response to things I read – actually sit down and read every word of and inhale the perfume off pages bound with glue and mildew. There may be fewer individual pieces of entertainment blogged and reblogged and shared, but at least you’ll know I really read them.

Sorry if I made it look like I was actually doing it all. I kind of doubt anyone can. We make choices and lie about the rest.

Nap Con 2014: It’s going to be a thing

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Another New York Comic Con has come and gone. Too many days in row with little sleep, little food, not enough water and more laughter and fun with friends from out of town than I ever think is possible.

Today’s actually a federal holiday, but I’m at work. While cursing the heavens, the sunshine, the happy smiling tourists standing in line outside Madame Tussaud’s at 8:30 AM in 50 degree weather while I walked across Times Square from the subway to my Hell’s Kitchen office, I decided that this exhaustion and ennui that will inevitably stretch through the week must end.

This will be the last year that I don’t institute Nap Con.

Look for it next year, kids: Nap Con 2014.

Here’s my proposition:

Last night of con, we rent a suite at a local hotel and split the cost. We order extra pillows, extra blankets and jerry-rig a big screen projector against one wall. Everybody cleans themselves up.

We drink tea and eat cookies, and we talk about all the fun things about con with none of the post mortem negativity that thankfully I didn’t experience this year.

We pass out in a puppy-pile of tired.

The following morning, coffee and tea are delivered to our suite. We watch a morning show while munching on bagels, not brushing our hair and sorting through the various con loot we have had no moment to enjoy yet.

At some point, we pull on the most socially-acceptable, wearable-outside pajamas we can muster and debunk the hotel for brunch with mimosas and piles of toast and home fries and bacon.

Maybe, MAYBE, sometime after noon we go our separate ways and peacefully re-enter our real lives. None of this horrible no sleep first days back to life. NO MORE.

I demand better!

I would also like a foot massage, a facial and a heating pad for my shoulders.

Look for applications come Con Season 2014.